HearSay
our in-house author blog
Tanya Saunders, author and founder of AVID Language
Tanya Saunders is an author, illustrator, lover of wild places and mother to twin daughters, one of whom is profoundly deaf. She founded AVID Language to help inspire deaf children to dream big and reach for the stars. Tanya blogs about her experiences of parenting a deaf child alongside a hearing sibling, writing, publishing and the latest AVID Language news.*
*Views and opinions are entirely Tanya’s own, and not necessarily representative of AVID Language Ltd as a whole.
The choices we have made
As every parent of a deaf child will know, an alarming barrage of choices face you when your child is first diagnosed with hearing loss, decisions which feel (and are) truly momentous, affecting—as they will—your child’s entire future. Nonetheless, how lucky we are to have had choices, with modern technology and different therapy approaches offering so much hope and so many different options to so many families. I am acutely aware that some families do not have the same choices, either because they live in a country where access to technology is prohibitively expensive (or nonexistent) or because their children are on a different path, which leads them in one prescribed direction. That is why, despite our daughter’s diagnosis, we still count ourselves very lucky.
In my capacity as a Parent Ambassador for Auditory Verbal UK (AVUK) and author of books for deaf children, I was asked to write an article for the March newsletter of the Cochlear Implanted Children’s Support Group (CICS). Some of you may have seen this article posted already on AVUK’s site or indeed in the CICS newsletter itself, but for those of you who haven’t, here is a copy of the article:
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“Who on earth diagnosed this child?” asked the specialist. My husband and I looked at each other and then back at the specialist, realising in that moment that we had some tough news coming our way….
Out with the old, in with the new!
Can it really be almost four months since my previous post? I guess that happens when too much life comes to pass all at once…since writing last, I have released two children’s books—one for six to eight-year-olds, the other for very early listeners—it was our twins’ seventh birthday, then Christmas came along, then another lockdown and home-schooling again (all accompanied by constant puppy chaos) and, as you will know if you have been following my intermittent blog ramblings, our daughter Onna had her bilateral cochlear implant revision surgery. That was back in October already, and if you don’t mind, I’m going to take you back there now and describe it all in some detail, as some readers may be curious to know how it all went and whether or not my pre-op anxiety was justified – especially if said readers are facing a similar situation with their own children.
A mixed bag
We’ve got a lot going on just now. (Don’t we all, I hear you cry, that’s just the nature of things!) As you know, we are counting down the days until our six-year-old daughter, Onna, has her bilateral cochlear implant revision surgery – just five days to go now. We have been waiting until the half term holiday starts (later today) to tell Onna and her twin sister Sala about the operation and the challenges Onna will face during the recovery period afterwards, during which time Onna will have no hearing whatsoever. We didn’t want to tell them while they were still at school for fear that, out of innocent curiosity, the other children might ask some altogether too direct questions about the actualities of the surgery – not something we want Onna to think too much about. I’m not looking forward to telling Onna and Sala because I know they will both be fretful about what lies ahead, as indeed we all are, although Ian and I are aware that we need to mask our own anxiety for the sake of the children. In addition to planning the practicalities of surgery day for Onna, we have to plan ahead for Sala too, because we do not underestimate the impact that this experience may have on her. She is such a caring little soul, who adores her twin sister, and while she will face the day and what follows with stoicism, we know she will feel it keenly.
The bumps in the road
No-one ever said that navigating the hearing loss journey alongside your deaf child was going to be plain sailing. And it’s true. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It’s frightening at times. But then, it’s also equally joyous and rewarding and often simply incredible! The truth is, no matter how many bumps in the road you encounter (some families unfortunately encounter many more than others), you pretty much know there will be another one coming at some stage. When it comes, each bump has the power to punch you in the gut, completely knocking the wind out of your sails.
To blog or not to blog?
To blog or not to blog? That is the question. For a long time, I have wanted to share my experiences of parenting a deaf child in order to help other parents starting out along a similar path and to exchange views on how to approach the many tricky situations and decisions we all face on this remarkable but tough journey. My hesitation to do so until now has been the consideration of our children’s privacy. My husband Ian and I have twin daughters, Sala and Onna, currently six years old. Onna is profoundly deaf, Sala is typically hearing. When they are old enough to understand, how will they feel that their story has been online for anyone and everyone to read? Ian and I have discussed this at length, and in the end the answer was quite clear to us. This story is not one of shame or regret, it is one of pride and perseverance – of daily challenges and daily triumphs. We’re not kidding ourselves - we still have a long way to go on this journey. And yes, there have been some extremely difficult times, and there will be again (it can be a rocky road at times), but ultimately there is nothing here not to celebrate and share, especially if it can help others.